I've decided this reclining pose is one of Jonathan's favorites! Every time I bring the camera out, no matter what he is doing, he springs into action and usually ends up on his stomach! I find myself daydreaming of him with a sibling. We are saving like crazy for our next adoption, trying to cut corners wherever we can. I am thankful for Jonny's full time job with the Guard that allows us to have money to save. I worry that the money might somehow get diverted to another need, like a car, new air/heating unit, gutters, etc. Each of those things are on the edge of passing from life to death. I hold my breath and pray for no emergency that requires dipping into our adoption fund. When longing for our next child overwhelms me, I go through closets and organize. I pull out perfectly good items that we don't use and place them in my ever-growing pile of things I hope to sell during our neighborhood's spring garage sale. Other times, I scan through online lists of baby names, hoping that even something like a name will provide a connection to the child that is growing within, rather than beneath my heart. And nearly everyone I know is pregnant right now, which does NOT help! Every step of the adoption journey is full of anxiety and impatience. The frustrating thing is that I can't do anything to make it go faster or smoothly. It just is what it is. The end result is so worth it. Each time I look into my son's eyes, I am acutely aware of this fact. But oh, the getting from here to there.... that's the hard part.