(Almost) Full

We are just enjoying being together at home. My lap is full these days! No, actually there is plenty of room for more. I love being the mom of two children. I am going to stop writing to get some pictures up before I run out of time. I hear both of them already stirring in their cribs. Life is full and we are blessed. Jonathan is smitten with his sister's fingers and toes!

Girl Time

Jonny and Jonathan went to our nephews's soccer game this morning so Lizzy and I had our first true girl time together. She mostly slept, but that's ok. I got to hold her as much as I wanted, which was nice. After I fed her, I got the camera out. She was sleepy and not quite as squirmy. I got some cute pictures. She is such a good baby! We are enjoying her so much.

Home Sweet Home

We arrived home after midnight on Wednesday morning. It is wonderful to be home with our sweet baby girl. Jonathan is back to his fun-loving self and we are all so thankful for God seeing us through another adoption journey. We know that adoptions do not always work out as planned or as hoped. We are very thankful that He has blessed us with two successful adoptions.

I want to write more, but am kind of punchy tonight. The sleep deprivation begins to hit around seven each evening and I am not good for much after that! During the day I feel great and am hoping that does not change.

These pictures were taken by our friend Angie. I am so excited to be sharing them now. Our hearts are rejoicing in the gift of our two blessings from God. A son and a daughter. Who could ask for more?

Family Pictures

Elizabeth had her first visitors today! My sister Laura and a friend from her work came over to welcome our little one. Jonathan enjoyed the extra attention too.

We took Elizabeth to a local pediatrician for her first well baby visit. The pediatrician was wonderful and spent a good bit of time with us. He was thorough, to say the least! Elizabeth is healthy and perfect in every way and we are very thankful for that. She has only lost 2 ounces since she was born.

Jonathan had a nap today and went to bed on time tonight. Already, he is like his old self again. The hotel did not agree with him at all. It is so wonderful to be in a home.

I gave Elizabeth her first sponge bath tonight. I love how her skin felt and smelled after I rubbed her with baby lotion. I kept trying to get a picture of her with her eyes open. Her eyes are the palest blue color. They are quite lovely. All I could get was this little squint.

We can’t express how life has suddenly become so bright again. The ups and downs leading us to Elizabeth’s birth took quite a toll. But now that she is in our arms, she was so worth all we and her birth mom went through.

All Together

This is just a quick update. I will post more with pictures later. Elizabeth was released yesterday! We then drove to Orlando where we will be staying with Jonny's cousin and family. It is so great to be all together and out of the hotel room. Things are going well. Thank you all so much for praying for her release. I don't think I would have made it another day! It was so hard to say good bye to her in the nursery each time. I am very thankful that is all behind us now.

We will be in Orlando until we get clearance to cross the state line with Elizabeth. Our agency says it could happen by Monday or Tuesday. We are anxious to get back home and settle into our new normal. We are feeling very thankful and content.

Elizabeth is a great baby. Her feeding times are 7, 10, 1 and 4 both day and night. She is eating nearly 2 ounces with each feeding. Her cries are more like squeaks. She sounds like a little puppy! Her forearm is hardly any longer than my thumb. She is so sweet. Jonathan likes her a lot... a little too much actually. He wants to pull her up and I can see that he would try to pick her up if I turn my back a minute. We are having to stay pretty vigilant until he learns what he can and cannot do with her.

I will post pictures soon, I promise!

One More Day

Elizabeth was not released this morning after all. Results from a routine enzyme test didn’t come back so they would not release her. The results should be there this evening so we are scheduled for discharge in the morning. Everything is looking perfect with her. She is eating well, sleeping great and seems to be a very content baby. Here are some pictures I took of her this morning. I will go back again for her next feeding in a little while.

We were very disappointed by her having to say yet one more day. We miss her so much and it is hard to leave her each time. Our hotel room, while comfortable, has not been so great for Jonathan and sleeping. There is a group of people across the hall who keep coming in and out late and night, slamming doors and laughing uproariously. Jonathan wakes up each time and is then freaked out by not remembering where he is. When we found out we had to say yet one more night, we asked to switch rooms, and our hotel was really accommodating. Our new room is bigger on a lower floor and overlooks the bay so we hope to enjoy peace and quiet all night.

The three of us went to the zoo so Jonathan could run around. We had fun. He got to touch an alligator and a corn snake. I guess it is our last family outing without Elizabeth. We can’t wait to all be together.

Last update for today

I did get to head back to the hospital for more time with Elizabeth. She had just eaten when I got there. I had sat down with her for about five minutes when she decided to spit up all over herself. The nurse brought me a fresh onesie and blanket and wipes so I guess this was my first official act as Elizabeth's mother! It took about 15 minutes just to clean her up and re-dress her. She kept making fists with her hands and would not flex her arms so I had quite the time trying to draw her arms into the sleeves that hang nearly 2 inches off her hands anyways. I was almost sweating by the end! But it was great to be the one taking care of her. We settled in for another cuddle when she decided it was time to go to the bathroom. I changed her and it was like putting a diaper on a doll. She is just so tiny. So, I didn't get any pictures because Miss Elizabeth was doing her best to keep me busy. I had a great time and it was so hard to leave her for the night. When I stepped out of the nursery, I peeked back in the window and she was looking at me. I know she can't focus that far, but her gaze seemed to be following me. It was really sweet. Our bonding has definitely began.

Quick Update

I went to the nursery this morning and was able to hold and care for Elizabeth until noon. It felt so wonderful to hold her! She is so tiny, just like a little baby doll. I was able to spend some time with our birth mom as well, something I am very thankful for. She was able to hold and feed Elizabeth and I got some great pictures of the two of them. She signed all the papers, and we have signed as well. Elizabeth is officilly our daughter now! Our hearts are full of the blessing of our new daughter, but there is sadness for Jennifer as well. Please pray for her peace and comfort. Adoption is all about gains and losses and doing the dance of holding them both in our hands at the same time. It is a very emotional time for us all.

I don’t have any family pictures yet. We were literally about to get a nurse to take a picture of us when Jonathan fell down and split his upper lip and bruised his gum pretty bad. We were advised to take him to the ER since it happened here in the hospital. We did and he is going to be ok. We are all just a bit tired from our morning.

Elizabeth is in the nursery until tomorrow morning, when she will be released to us. They like to keep the babies 48 hours for observation so we don’t have too much longer to wait for her. Jonny and I have access to her, but Jonny has a sore throat and hasn’t wanted to be too close just yet, to air on the side of caution. Jonathan is too little to visit the nursery, so I am getting Elizabeth all to myself! We are all at the hotel and are about to eat a bite. Then I’ll head back over to the hospital for more Elizabeth time. Hopefully I’ll have more pictures soon. Thanks for all your prayers. We are overwhelmed with the gift of our baby girl.

Introducing Miss Elizabeth!!!!!

Here she is! Have you ever seen anything more breathtaking? She is so beautiful and perfect in every way. We arrived at the nursery around 10:30 p.m. It was technically closed, but they made an exception for us. Jonathan couldn't go in, so Jonny let me take the first turn while he held Jonathan up to the window. I am totally smitten! They didn't let us hold her, but hopefully we can tomorrow. I can't wait to have her in my arms. Jonathan was grinning from ear to ear. He is very excited.

We are in our hotel room, tired but elated. The signing is supposed to happen at 8 p.m. tomorrow evening. I'll post more pictures as I take them. I hope to be at the nursery bright and early in the morning.

Thank you, Father, for our little angel. She is beyond anything we could imagine.

She's Here!

We got a call just over an hour ago saying Elizabeth was born yesterday! She is doing great and is in the nursery. She weighs 5 pounds 14 ounces. That's is truly all that we know right now. We are throwing our stufff together and getting ready to head to Tampa! I will post pictures as soon as I have some, which hopefully will be later this evening!

We are so excited!!!!!

Not much to report

We've had a rather slow week. I've been organizing the last of the adoption paperwork for our agency. We'll take this final packet with us when we travel to Florida when Elizabeth comes. Tomrrow our birthmom will be 36 weeks! I remember getting the call 6 weeks ago that she was in labor. I started crying because I was so scared. God intervened and we've seen Him answer so many prayers since then. I can't wait until Elizabeth is in our arms. I've also put a few finishing touches in her nursery this week. It is pretty much finished! I'll post pictures soon.

These pictures were taken at a neighbor's house. Our son is too cute! And he is really sweet as well. We are beyond blessed to be his parents.

Birthmom musings

I’ve been thinking so much about the mother of Moses, Jochebed. We are introduced to her in Exodus chapter 2. She finds herself large with child at a time when newborn baby boys are unmercifully thrown in to the Nile, as Pharaoh has commanded. Can you imagine the anxiety she experienced as the time for her to deliver drew near? Surely she must have been pleading with God to let her baby be a girl, so precious little one would be spared….

It was getting harder to find the strength to take care of Miriam and Aaron. This pregnancy seemed to Jochebed much more physically taxing than her previous two. Perhaps it was the crushing weight of worry that seemed to mount with each passing day. The closer to her date of delivery, the more she found herself begging God for His mercy. Please, Jehovah, let this child be a girl. Let my baby live. Jochebed felt her abdomen harden as another contraction squeezed tightly. It’s too early, she kept repeating silently. I still have a few weeks yet. As the afternoon wore on, she realized that whether it was the right time or not, this baby was indeed coming.

The midwives got there just before her beautiful baby entered the world. They lifted the child high for Jochebed to see. She skipped looking at its face at first and her gaze traveled instead directly to its midsection. A boy. Her heart sank with all this implied. Oh, Jehovah. How could you? Then through her exhaustion she lifted her eyes to his face. The grayish color was being replaced by deep red as he let out lusty little cries. He was beautiful. She did not remember Miriam or Aaron looking so beautiful at first. Her heart was instantly captured and she moved to take him for a moment. She barely held him when one of the midwives gently took him from her to clean and swaddle him. She lay back and let the knowledge sweep over her that she had a son whom she could not let Pharaoh discover. A courage that she never felt before entered her soul. She knew she would choose life for her son.

For three months, Jochebed and her family kept Moses a secret. He was with her every moment and, at the first cries of hunger, she immediately took him to her breast to quiet him. The midwives feared God and valued human life. Jochebed knew her secret was safe with them. Daily she prayed for wisdom. She and Amram talked late into the night about what to do. They knew they could not hide their son forever. Jochebed wept bitter tears over her precious son. She could not explain it to anyone, but she knew Jehovah had a plan for her son’s life. Yet she would not be part of it, she was certain. This is what caused the most searing pain of all.

Then the day dawned when Amram looked at her early in the morning and said, “Do it today.” Her heart knew it was the only way. She gathered up the basket she had woven, and then daubed with tar to make it water resistant. “Miriam, come,” she said brusquely. She clutched her precious son as her tears soaked his head and cheek. He lay sleeping against her breast. Child of my flesh, her heart cried, as she made her way to the banks of the Nile. I would give my life for yours. Jehovah has given you to me and I am giving you back to Him. I beg Him to watch over you and keep you safe. I cannot keep you safe the way I want to.

She kissed him and placed him in the basket. She gasped at the thought of a crocodile getting to this basket. I can’t watch him be eaten alive! With this, her last desperate thought, she relinquished the basket that cradled her son into the water. “Miriam, stay here. Don’t leave your brother!” she sobbed, springing up and running until she was certain she could not hear his cries when he awoke hungry.

I pause here to say that this story is dedicated to birth moms who courageously choose life for their baby, even when it means they aren’t able to share life directly with their birth child. This is what Jonathan’s birth mom did 2 years ago. This is what Elizabeth’s birth mom is choosing to do at this time. I write this story with respect and awe of women who choose to do such an utterly unselfish thing when an abortion, in the short run, is touted by society as the more convenient way. Abortion is deceitfully clever in that it appeals to a woman’s sense of urgency to take care of a “situation” immediately and quietly. There is nothing neither immediate nor quiet about a nine month pregnancy that results in a birth mom making an adoption plan. My hope is that those who read this will gain insight into the heart of a birth mom and that more compassion will be extended to a woman who chooses to make an adoption plan.

As I go about life and share with others that we are adopting again, the questions I hear repeated the most consistently are as follows: why doesn’t she want her own baby? Doesn’t she care about her own baby? Yes, she does care about her baby very much. She is doing something for her baby that most of us can never fathom, and thankfully, have never needed to fathom. Some of us have been recipients of God’s grace at an earlier age than others. This grace has constrained the effects of our sin and guides the choices we make on a daily basis. It is only by the grace of God that any of us are married and stable and can provide a home for the children God allows us to adopt and/or conceive. It is also by the grace of God that some women make a courageous choice for life in the midst of the turbulence surrounding them. There certainly ought to be no shame or disgrace in such a choice or in the person who is making the choice.

I am just about out of time for today. Jonathan will be up from his nap any second. I will try to finish the story very soon!

Pumpkins and Tractors

This morning we went to Berry Patch Farm. Jonathan was so excited about going to the pumpkin patch. Until he spotted the red tractor. He is totally obsessed with tractors right now. He thought riding this was great. We had to keep taking him off, and going to the back of the line so he could have another turn! He was happy to wait each time. The weather was gorgeous. This is such a fun activity because they have baby goats, pigs, cows, chickens and even a turkey that Jonathan was able to see up close. We enjoyed a hayride to the pumpkin patch. But the pumpkins just couldn’t compare to the red tractor, however. We had so much fun. We bought 3 small pumpkins to make into pumpkin pie. I’ve never done this from scratch, so we’ll see how it turns out!

God’s grace and mercy are fresh and new every day. I am learning how to rest in that as we travel this journey toward adopting Elizabeth. I am also feeling more peaceful because of a conversation we had last night with one of Jonny’s best friends from Covenant College, Jim. Jim just this year completed his medical residency and will head to Uganda in January to be a missionary doctor. I was able to ask him a lot of questions about Jennifer’s situation and he provided wisdom and a perspective that we have been lacking. I feel as though I better understand why the doctors made the decision to discharge Jennifer yesterday. Not to bore anyone with the details, basically what Jim said is that true labor can never be stopped. Jennifer’s contractions were not premature labor since the doctors were able to stop them. Also, since measuring a woman’s dilation is so subjective, there is no way she was truly 4 cm dilated upon discharge. Obstetrics is the most litigious practice in the United States, and no doctor is going to take any risk in making a decision that would induce a lawsuit. Thirty-six weeks is the magic number, Jim said, so they will not take any chances until then. So, our hope is that there are no more contractions until Jennifer is 36 weeks! Tomorrow is 35 weeks, so let’s all pray for no action for one more week.

God is also teaching me a lot about fear and how it erodes our faith. I’ve been studying the passage about Moses’ mother Jochebed, and the courage it took for her to relinquish her precious baby to the Nile. I am working at getting my thoughts about this down on paper. Hopefully, I can post more later today or tomorrow. Thanks for all of you who have been praying. I can really feel them.

The last we heard Tuesday is that Jennifer would remain in the hospital on total bed rest until Elizabeth is born. Today came the news the doctors released Jennifer from the hospital. I was really upset by this. I hope the doctors know what they are doing. It is beyond hard to not be there and to have NO CONTROL WHATSOEVER or have ANY SAY WHATSOEVER in ANY DECISIONS on the care of the child WE PLAN TO PARENT. There. I said it. I am wondering if congress could ever pass bill to allow adoptive parents the right to have a vote in the care of the birth mom or baby when the birth mom has signed an intent to place their child for adoption and the adoptive couple has signed a contract of agreement as well. We don’t even have the right to speak with the doctors directly or be informed directly. The information goes from our birth mom, to the agency, to the social worker, then to us. By that time, we can only guess the percentage of accuracy we are getting. Forgive me for this being a major rant session. I know once Elizabeth is here and in our arms, all this simply will fade away and not matter. But from where I sit, it is all bigger than life. And it is getting to me today. I could really use a lot of prayer.