Jonny has been off from work this week which has been super. We’ve enjoyed a lot of family time together. Jonny and I had a getaway in Chattanooga on Monday and Tuesday. It was fun just being a couple. Of course we missed Jonathan and talked about him a most of the time! When we checked in to our bed and breakfast on Lookout Mountain we discovered we had left our overnight bag on our bed back at home. We laughed about it, and then went to the Dollar Store to buy deodorant, a toothbrush (and underwear!). We ate a very relaxing dinner in the art district, overlooking the Tennessee River. On Tuesday we went for a riverboat ride on the Southern Belle. Being on the water was so peaceful. Our spirits were refreshed and we returned home Tuesday afternoon.
Part of the reason we needed to get away was the pressure and emotional strain of going through the adoption process again. I forgot all that we went through on our path to adopt Jonathan. The birthmom I had mentioned in my previous post did choose us as the adoptive couple she wanted to place her baby with. We had heard some negative things about the adoption agency who represented her to us. After much prayer and seeking counsel of several knowledgeable people in the adoption arena, we felt it would be extremely risky to move forward with this agency. It was most painful not to move forward with this birthmom.
Then there was a birthmom in Florida expecting twins who was going to view our profile. Her phone has been disconnected and she has not attempted to contact the adoption agency. At this point, we all assume she is going to parent her babies. Which is a wonderful thing, of course. I am selfishly disappointed for me.
I feel like my life is on hold and I strongly dislike the feeling. I have no due date. I don’t even know if we are going to have a baby anytime soon. I want to move forward with school but hesitate because of thinking any second that we could get a call about a baby. I am just in this endless limbo. Some days I handle it better than others. Today is one of the others.
Part of the reason we needed to get away was the pressure and emotional strain of going through the adoption process again. I forgot all that we went through on our path to adopt Jonathan. The birthmom I had mentioned in my previous post did choose us as the adoptive couple she wanted to place her baby with. We had heard some negative things about the adoption agency who represented her to us. After much prayer and seeking counsel of several knowledgeable people in the adoption arena, we felt it would be extremely risky to move forward with this agency. It was most painful not to move forward with this birthmom.
Then there was a birthmom in Florida expecting twins who was going to view our profile. Her phone has been disconnected and she has not attempted to contact the adoption agency. At this point, we all assume she is going to parent her babies. Which is a wonderful thing, of course. I am selfishly disappointed for me.
I feel like my life is on hold and I strongly dislike the feeling. I have no due date. I don’t even know if we are going to have a baby anytime soon. I want to move forward with school but hesitate because of thinking any second that we could get a call about a baby. I am just in this endless limbo. Some days I handle it better than others. Today is one of the others.
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