Reflections

Our little man is growing up so fast. We see changes with each day that passes. We’ve really been working on getting him to obey the first time we tell him to do something. I’ll instruct him, and then say, “Remember, we obey the first time mama says, right?” He will hold up his index finger and look at me and say, “First time.” And off he scampers. Sometimes to obey, and sometimes not to obey. While we try to be consistent, and use a lot of grace in our parenting, we see how far from perfect we are. A great friend who is a pastor tells us, “It’s amazing how anything good can come from sinners raising sinners.” And yet somehow, good things do come from it. Amazing.

We are enjoying these last weeks of being a family of three before Elizabeth joins our family. I’ve been reflecting a lot on Jonathan’s birth and adoption. Just as each birth experience is similar, yet totally unique, so it is with adoption. I was so scared in the weeks leading up to Jonathan’s birth. Scared his birth mom would change her mind. Scared I would be a horrible mother. Scared that somehow adoption was inferior to pregnancy and giving birth. Then, Jonathan was born to a courageous and utterly unselfish woman who immediately entrusted his life into our care. I spent the weeks following his birth holding him constantly. I felt like I was enjoying the longest, most refreshing drink of cold water I’d ever tasted. Finally, the heat and exhaustion experienced in the desert of longing for a baby was left behind forever. I also remember, with some embarrassment, how I didn’t like letting other people hold my baby!

I think God has taught me much in these last 2 years. There is still so much for me to learn. I am trying to hold those I love a little more loosely in my hands. I feel that Elizabeth’s life and her coming to us is such a miracle, a testimony of God’s grace. I anticipate passing her around often so others can appreciate the wonder of her life as well.